beware the ninja with fangs

An elderly couple decided to sit near me today.
His bottom teeth were slanted outwards and he stank.
She sat with her hands clenched and lips pursed.
He was a grumpy old shit, and looked like the kind of man whom in a novel would bellow "get off my lawn" at small children.
She looked like she'd eaten a warhead.

First, they sat on the other side of the train.
The morning sunlight was in their eyes. (Ha!)
Then they sat opposite me.
The goth sitting beside me got up and left at glenbervie station.
The man decided to sit in his seat, thus next to me.
She shuffled into his unoccupied seat, lips still tightly pursed.
I have never hated two old people for being old people ever before.
But if his hairy elbow had nudged me once more, i would have morphed into a ninja.

Beware the ninja.

And another thing about Glenbervie station.
To all of you, who think it's funny to prove me wrong by actually getting on the train at the station - rather than walk the extra three seconds to Strathmore,
I HATE YOU. STOP GOING TO THAT TRAIN STATION, OR I WILL GET YOU.

*fangs*